Being present with a dream and letting images just 'be' can be especially challenging in groups. We often feel we haven't done our part, made our contribution, if we don't say something insightful and at least half brilliant. Something that will be useful to the dreamer. "Nothing is happening," our egos say. "We aren't getting to the bottom of this." Many of us who work regularly with dreams, privately or in groups, use one or another variation of a method known as "If It Were My Dream." The idea - and it is a good one - is that this method keeps us conscious of our projections and reminds us that we can only say what an image means to us. We can only speak of our own interiority; we do not know about anyone else's. However, a technique or method by itself does not automatically create containment and safety. One must bring also the proper attitude. Sometimes, a method can be used as an excuse to say anything we like, or to show off for the dream, dreamer and Dreamgiver. It's easy to fall into this, even for the very experienced. Perhaps especially for the very experienced. The urge to be Helpful and Useful, to Point Out The Obvious and to Fix the dream/dreamer can at times be overwhelming. I call this Owl Doing Dreamwork With Pooh. And no matter what is actually said, it feels like this:
"Ahem. AHEM."
"Yes, Owl?" said Pooh.
"About your dream. I want to say--"
"My dream?" said Pooh.
"Yes. Your dream. That's why we're here, to work on your dreams. Now, as I was saying--"
"I love my dream," said Pooh, rather dreamily. "There was lots of honey in it, and I especially liked when the birds--"
"Yes, yes, whatever. But we're not here to talk about birds. (Unless they're Owls, of course.) We're here to do Useful Dreamwork."
"We are?" said Pooh. "Oh. I thought we were here to talk about honey and birds-"
"Well we aren't. We are here to figure out what your dream means. You do want to know what your dream means, don't you?"
"Do I?" asked Pooh.
"Of course you do," said Owl.
"Oh. Well, alright then."
"Now," said Owl in his most important voice, "as I was saying, If It Were My Dream -- "
"Your dream, Owl?" said Pooh, rubbing his nose and looking slightly confused. "You had a dream too? Was there honey in it?"
"POOH! We are not talking about my dream! We are talking about yours! And I Have Important Things to Say, so Pay Attention because you will be the better off for it..."
In my guidelines for doing group work, I try to emphasize that the purpose in gathering is not necessarily to be useful the dreamer, or bring the dreamer to consciousness about anything, but rather to bear witness and to engage with the dream out of our own imagination in such a way that the dream itself can have the opportunity to do this. (If you would like a copy of the guidelines, please email me.) I have found that the best antidote to being Owl is to practice Not Talking, which of course gives one an opportunity to be more Pooh-like, and Listen. This does not mean one must be silent. Rather, I suggest that one pay attention to how and when one feels most moved to speak, and to go forth with care.
This is a bit different, of course, in one-on-one work. Then, I believe one must be even more diligent and careful. In my opinion, one-on-one work requires the highest ethical standards, continuing work one one's own psychological and spiritual complexes or issues, and substantive and ongoing training. This does not mean one need become an analyst, but rather that one must be willing to be in a continual process of learning, of listening to one's own dreams and working with one's own guide or guides.